Did you hear what happened last Saturday night While dancing and drinking, we all got half-tiedA sweet thing named Charmin was dancing with meWhen I jumped, her boyfriend, and he hollered at mePlease don't squeeze my Charmin, don't hold her so tightYou'd best heed my warning, it's my last one tonightShe's soft and she's gentle, and as sweet as can beAnd if Charmin needs squeezing, then leave that to meAlong about midnight, I was feeling no painAnd me and Miss Charmin were dancing againThen Hank and Big Harlin got into a fightAnd I heard someone holler as out went the lightPlease don't squeeze my Charmin, don't hold her so tightYou'd best heed my warning, it's my last one tonightShe's soft and she's gentle, and as sweet as can beAnd if Charmin needs squeezing, then leave that to meAnd if Charmin needs squeezing, then leave that to me*